How to Make Friends as an Adult

Making friends as a child often seems effortless. You sit next to someone in class, share a snack, and boom—you’re best friends. But as we grow older, things change. Life becomes busy, people become more guarded, and our social circles shrink for all kinds of reasons—changing jobs, moving cities, family responsibilities, or just growing apart from old friends.

So, how do you make new friends as an adult? Is it even possible?

The answer is yes—absolutely! It might take more intention, courage, and patience, but meaningful adult friendships are not only possible—they’re worth it.

Let’s explore how to make friends as an adult, even if you’re shy, introverted, or feel like you’re starting from scratch.

Table of Contents

1. Understand That You’re Not Alone

First and foremost, know this: you’re not the only one looking for friends. Many adults feel lonely or socially disconnected. With busy schedules and digital distractions, it’s become surprisingly common.

In fact, studies show that a significant percentage of adults—especially in their 30s and beyond—report struggling to make or maintain friendships. Knowing that others are in the same boat can help you approach new connections with more confidence and less fear of rejection.

2. Change Your Mindset About Making Friends

Making friends as an adult isn’t about luck or waiting for the “perfect person” to show up. It’s about being open, proactive, and consistent.

Here’s a simple mindset shift:

Instead of asking “Will they like me?”, ask “Do I like them?”

This change takes the pressure off and helps you focus on shared values and genuine connection.

3. Start with What You Already Have

You might be closer to new friendships than you think. Consider:

Old friends you’ve lost touch with – Reconnect with a message or call.
Work colleagues – Grab coffee after work.
Neighbors – Say hello more often or invite them for a meal.
Friends of friends – Attend social gatherings and be open to meeting new people.

Sometimes, the seeds of deep friendship are already planted—they just need a little attention to grow.

4. Put Yourself in Social Situations

To make new friends, you need to create opportunities to meet people. Try these:

Join a class – Yoga, painting, cooking, or language classes are great.
Volunteer – Helping others can lead to powerful, like-minded friendships.
Attend meetups – Use websites or apps that host local group events.
Try coworking spaces – Great for freelancers or remote workers.
Go to community events – Book clubs, clean-up drives, or local markets.

Don’t be afraid to go alone. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you show up, the easier it gets.

5. Be the One to Make the First Move

Adults often wait for others to take the initiative—but you don’t have to. Invite someone for coffee, suggest a walk, or ask if they want to join you at an event.

Remember: Reaching out is not weird or desperate—it’s brave and kind.

People appreciate when someone takes the time to get to know them. Even if it doesn’t turn into a deep friendship, most people will be flattered by your interest.

6. Be a Good Listener and Ask Questions

When you meet someone new, try to really listen. Ask about their hobbies, opinions, or what they like doing in their free time.

Examples of good questions:

“What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend?”
“Have you watched or read anything great lately?”
“What got you into this hobby?”

These open-ended questions help you find common interests, and they show you care about the other person’s world.

7. Be Consistent and Follow Up

Friendships aren’t built in one conversation—they need time and consistency. If you enjoyed chatting with someone, follow up. Send a quick message, share an article you both talked about, or ask to hang out again.

Think of it like this: Friendship is a plant. You have to water it regularly.

You don’t need to overwhelm someone with constant texts, but small gestures go a long way.

8. Accept That Not Every Connection Will Stick

Just like dating, not every new person you meet will become a lifelong friend—and that’s okay.

Some people might be too busy, not interested, or simply not a great fit. Don’t take it personally. Keep showing up and being open. The right connections will happen with time.

9. Be Honest and Vulnerable

As adults, we often put on a “strong face.” But real friendship grows through vulnerability. Sharing your struggles, dreams, or even your awkwardness about making friends can create deeper bonds.

You don’t have to share your life story on the first hangout—but don’t be afraid to be real.

10. Try Friendship Apps or Groups

Yes, there are apps for making friends too! Some great ones include:

Bumble BFF – For finding platonic friendships
Meetup – For joining local interest groups
Nextdoor – To connect with neighbors
Facebook Groups – Especially those based on local areas or hobbies

These tools are made for people like you—looking for meaningful adult connections.

11. Stay Positive and Keep Trying

Building friendships takes time. You might feel awkward at first, or face a few rejections. That’s normal.

Don’t give up. Every effort is progress. Stay hopeful and keep putting yourself in situations where friendships can grow.

Remember:

Making friends as an adult is less about finding the “perfect person” and more about being the kind of friend you’d want to have.

Final Thoughts

Adult friendships might not happen overnight, but they are absolutely worth the effort. Whether it’s someone to grab coffee with, vent after a long day, or share life’s wins and struggles—you deserve that connection.

Be kind to yourself in the process, and remember: you’re not behind. You’re just beginning a new chapter of connection, growth, and friendship.

FAQs About Making Friends as an Adult

1. Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?

Adult life is often packed with responsibilities—work, family, errands. It’s harder to meet people naturally, and many adults fear rejection or don’t know where to start. But with a little effort and openness, it’s absolutely possible.

2. What’s a good way to approach someone I’d like to be friends with?

Keep it simple! Compliment something they said, ask about their hobbies, or invite them for a casual coffee. A genuine smile and kind words can go a long way.

3. How long does it take to build a real friendship?

There’s no set timeline. Some connections spark instantly; others take weeks or months to deepen. What matters most is consistency and shared effort.

4. What if I’m shy or introverted?

Introverts can make amazing friends. Try smaller group settings, shared-interest events, or one-on-one meetups. Focus on quality over quantity—you don’t need many friends, just meaningful ones.

5. What if I get rejected?

It happens to everyone. Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy—it just means that connection wasn’t the right fit. Stay open, and keep trying. The right people are out there.